Since moving house seven years ago, I have encountered a handful of women whose behaviour follows a remarkably similar pattern. I have realised they have consistently displayed behaviour towards me which I have never enjoyed.  I have tried to address it but to no real effect. Over the past few weeks, this pattern has become intolerable. 

My experience is of interpersonal communication that is one-sided and poorly attuned, which happens when I’m out in town either shopping or enjoying a dog walk. These people catch me off-guard, and I feel unprepared for the onslaught.

They always dominate the conversation, talking at me rather than with me. They tell me everything they want to say, but show little interest in what I might think or feel. They interrupt when I try to respond, and often redirect any response back towards themselves. The pattern is for them to continue speaking, often changing topics without stopping for breath, without noticing that I have withdrawn. As such, I feel that I have been treated more like an audience or emotional container than a participant.

At first, I considered each encounter separately. Over time, however, I began to recognise a recurring pattern. I was not participating in a mutually nourishing conversation. I had been assigned the role of listener, audience, or emotional container.

Many people may be having similar experiences without fully recognising what is happening. They may leave certain encounters feeling unusually tired, irritated, invisible or overwhelmed, but assume they are simply being intolerant. In reality, their response may be telling them something important about the relationship.

Possible Explainations

Several very different factors can produce this pattern of behaviour:

• Loneliness or unmet emotional needs: They may release a backlog of thoughts and feelings whenever somebody appears receptive.
• Anxiety: Some people manage social anxiety by talking continuously, filling every silence and mentally rehearsing what they will say instead of listening.
• Poor social awareness: They may not recognise pauses, facial expressions or attempts to contribute.
• Emotional dysregulation: Speaking can become a way of discharging distress into another person.
• Habitual self-centredness: They may have learned that relationships revolve around their experiences and have little curiosity about other people.
• ADHD or impulsivity: Difficulty inhibiting speech, interrupting and holding onto a thought can affect conversational balance.
• Hypomania or mania: Pressured, rapid and difficult-to-interrupt speech can occur, although this would usually be accompanied by other significant changes in mood, energy, sleep and behaviour.
• Narcissistic traits: Some people seek attention, admiration or emotional service without offering reciprocity. That does not automatically mean narcissistic personality disorder.
• Trauma or insecure attachment: They may urgently seek connection while lacking the capacity to notice and respond to the person with whom they are trying to connect.

BioBots

Some of these characters will be the unensouled biobots whose purpose it is to run particular programmes aimed at training the ensouled.  The talking at people programme has been something I seem to have attracted in particular.  So it seems clear to me that this is something I need to learn how to address.

Feeling Drained

When someone monopolises a conversation, we are not merely listening; we are also doing a considerable amount of invisible psychological work. However, these encounters cause us to continually:

• search for an opening to speak;
• suppress your own responses;
• absorb material you did not consent to hold;
• monitor the other person’s emotional state;
• manage frustration while remaining polite;
• cope with the experience of being socially present but psychologically unseen.

That creates substantial cognitive and emotional load. The nervous system may move into a restrained fight, flight or freeze response: you want to interrupt, leave or defend your space, but social convention inhibits you. Exhaustion often follows.

The feeling of being drained is therefore not necessarily mysterious or imaginary. It may be the natural consequence of being subjected to an intense, one-sided interaction in which my presence is used but one’s soul or self is not fully acknowledged.

Conversation Requires Reciprocity

A healthy conversation involves a natural exchange. Both people speak, listen, respond and make room for one another. There is curiosity in both directions.

When someone talks at me, that reciprocity is missing. The person may tell long stories without checking whether I am interested, interrupt when I begin speaking, or use something I have said merely as an opportunity to return to their own experiences.

I may be physically present, but I do not feel psychologically recognised.

This is sometimes described as conversational dominance, poor interpersonal attunement or a lack of conversational reciprocity. The informal term “conversational narcissism” may also be used when someone repeatedly turns conversations back towards themselves.

Why it may keep happening

A repeated experience does not necessarily mean that we are causing or that we are responsible for another person’s behaviour. The responsibility for interrupting, dominating and disregarding other people belongs to the person doing it.

Nevertheless, some qualities may make us particularly attractive to people seeking an audience. We may appear warm, thoughtful, empathic and willing to listen. We may ask perceptive questions and give another person our full attention. These are valuable qualities in reciprocal relationships, but they can be exploited in one-sided ones.

We may also wait patiently for a natural pause that never arrives, or remain polite long after we want to leave, concealing our discomfort or continuing to give someone access after the first encounter has revealed the problem.

Moving house places one among a new and relatively unfiltered group of acquaintances. People who are lonely, intrusive or hungry for attention may attach quickly to somebody who appears warm, thoughtful and willing to listen.

It is worth observing whether you:

• remain polite long after you want to leave;
• ask thoughtful questions that invite further disclosure;
• wait for a natural pause that never arrives;
• avoid interrupting because it feels rude;
• disclose little yourself, unintentionally confirming the role of listener;
• give further access after noticing that the first encounter was one-sided.

These are not faults. They are socially considerate behaviours that some people fail to reciprocate.

The Boundary Test

One of the clearest ways to understand the relationship is to introduce a reasonable boundary and observe what happens.

One could say:

• “I would like to finish what I was saying.”
• “Please let me respond before you continue.”
• “I have noticed that I am not getting much opportunity to speak.”
• “I only have ten minutes available.”
• “I cannot take this in today.”
• “I need to leave now.”

A socially anxious or overexcited person may notice, apologise and adjust. Someone with a more entrenched relational problem may ignore the boundary, speak over it, become offended, attempt to make one feel guilty or resume the same behaviour almost immediately. Someone who repeatedly ignores, contests or punishes reasonable boundaries is showing a more entrenched relational problem that will require one to reduce contact.

I personally recently experienced someone who became offended when I talked over them for the first time. They got triggered and stormed off in a fit of emotional outburst.

Their response tells me more than any label could.

Protection

By reviewing how we feel after an encounter, we can decide that an interaction is unhealthy for us personally. Exhaustion, irritation, tension or a sense of invisibility may indicate that the exchange was not reciprocal and that we need to make a plan for future protection.

We can protect ourselves by:

1. Setting a time limit in advance. I can state clearly that I have only five minutes available.
2. Interrupting when necessary. It is not inherently rude to interrupt someone who consistently prevents me from participating.
3. Naming the behaviour. Calmly saying, “I don’t feel that there is room for me in this conversation,” makes the problem visible.
4. Avoiding unnecessary personal questions. If someone treats every question as an invitation to unload, I do not have to keep encouraging disclosure.
5. Reducing access. I can shorten encounters, respond less frequently or stop meeting someone whose behaviour does not change.
6. Resisting manufactured urgency. Another person’s desire to talk does not automatically create an obligation for me to listen.
7. Examining my own beliefs. Journaling or therapy may help me understand why saying no, interrupting or leaving feels difficult.
8. Looking for reciprocity. I can invest more deeply in people who remember what I tell them, ask thoughtful questions and make room for my experience.
9. Trusting the evidence of repetition. If I repeatedly feel depleted around someone, I do not need to keep overriding that information.

Compassion does not require unlimited availability. I can understand that someone may be lonely, anxious or wounded while recognising that I am not obliged to become their captive audience or emotional dumping ground. Read my next post for this scenario.

Shamanic Healing

Shamanic Healing can address both sides of this scenario by removing the source or the underlying trauma, removing the belief that underlies the pattern of behaviour, and then reprogramming the subconscious with Shamanic Subconscious Repatterning to create a more positive way of interacting.

The poor communicator who wants to improve their social relationships can heal trauma and unmet emotional needs through extraction and soul retrieval.

Extraction will allow them to let go of pain and emotional baggage so that their need to unload on others will be reduced.

Addressing causes of social anxiety will prevent them from filling silence with a stream of words.

Healing the trauma causing insecure attachment will increase their capacity to notice and respond to the person, improving connection.

For the listener with weak boundaries, a tailored combination of Power Animal Retrieval, Cord Cutting, Soul Retrieval, Energy Body Healing, Spiritual Parasite/Entity Removal, and the removal of negative energy and blockages through Shamanic Extraction, alongside Shamanic Subconscious Repatterning to change restrictive subconscious thought patterns, will create an empowered way of being.

For further information, go to: https://www.roseautumn.com/shamanic-healing/

Read my next post on Emotional Dumping: https://www.roseautumn.com/2026/06/emotional-dumping/