The terms narcissistic abuse and emotional abuse are often used interchangeably, but they do not mean the same thing. Narcissistic abuse is not the same thing as emotional abuse, although narcissistic abuse is usually a form of emotional or psychological abuse.

Emotional abuse is the broader category. It refers to a persistent pattern of behaviour that seeks to control, manipulate, intimidate, humiliate, or undermine another person’s emotional wellbeing and sense of self.

Narcissistic abuse is a widely used descriptive term for a pattern of emotional and psychological abuse associated with someone who has pronounced narcissistic traits or narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). It describes a relationship in which one person seeks to maintain power, control, or admiration by undermining another person’s confidence, autonomy, or sense of reality.

In simple terms, narcissistic abuse is generally understood as a particular pattern of emotional and psychological abuse, whereas emotional abuse can occur in many different types of relationships and for many different reasons.

The relationship between the two is best understood like this:

• Emotional abuse is the broad category. It refers to patterns of behaviour that control, intimidate, humiliate, manipulate, or undermine another person.
• Narcissistic abuse is a term commonly used to describe a pattern of emotional and psychological abuse carried out by someone with strong narcissistic traits or someone diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).

In short:

• All narcissistic abuse is a form of emotional abuse.
• Not all emotional abuse is narcissistic abuse.
• The harm experienced by the victim can be equally serious regardless of whether the abuser is narcissistic.

Narcissistic Abuse

Narcissistic abuse is a widely used descriptive term referring to a pattern of abusive behaviours associated with someone with pronounced narcissistic traits.

It is psychological manipulation in which a person with narcissistic personality disorder seeks to maintain power, control, or admiration by undermining another person’s confidence, autonomy, or sense of reality.

It commonly involves behaviours such as gaslighting, chronic criticism, blame-shifting, emotional invalidation, intermittent affection and rejection, manipulation, and a lack of empathy.

Over time, this pattern can leave the victim feeling confused, anxious, isolated, and with diminished self-esteem.

Narcissistic abuse often has distinctive patterns. Although every relationship is different, people describe narcissistic abuse as involving behaviours such as:

• Idealisation (“love bombing”) followed by devaluation.
• Gaslighting (making someone doubt their own perceptions or memories).
• Chronic criticism and belittling.
• Lack of empathy for the other person’s feelings.
• Manipulation through guilt, shame or obligation.
• Triangulation (bringing third parties into conflicts to create jealousy or division).
• Silent treatment or withdrawal as punishment.
• Blame shifting and refusal to accept responsibility.

Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse is a persistent pattern of behaviour that seeks to control, manipulate, intimidate, or undermine another person’s emotional wellbeing and sense of self.

Unlike physical abuse, it often leaves no visible injuries, but can have profound and long-lasting psychological effects.

Emotional abuse may include intimidation, humiliation, excessive criticism, threats, isolation, gaslighting, coercive control, or deliberately withholding affection or communication to exert power over another person.

Over time, it can erode a person’s confidence, independence, and ability to trust their own thoughts and feelings, leading to anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and emotional distress.

Emotional abuse can be carried out by many different people. Someone does not need to be narcissistic to be emotionally abusive. Emotional abuse can be committed by:

• A controlling partner.
• Someone with poor emotional regulation.
• A person who learned abusive behaviours in childhood.
• Someone with another personality disorder.
• Someone seeking power or control without having any mental health condition.

Which term is more useful?

For someone recovering from an unhealthy relationship, focusing on the behaviour rather than the label is often more helpful.

Ask yourself questions like:

• Were my boundaries respected?
• Was I frequently manipulated or made to doubt myself?
• Did I feel afraid to express my needs?
• Was there a consistent pattern of control or humiliation?

Whether a relationship is described as emotionally abusive or narcissistically abusive, the effects can be equally damaging. Recognising unhealthy patterns is often the first step towards setting healthy boundaries, seeking appropriate support and beginning the process of recovery.

Healing

From a shamanic perspective, emotional and narcissistic abuse are not simply patterns of behaviour but signs of deeper spiritual and emotional imbalance. Those who have experienced abuse often carry the energetic imprint of fear, shame, grief, loss of confidence, or soul loss, while those who inflict harm may themselves be acting from unresolved wounds, disconnection, fear, or a loss of their true nature.

Shamanic healing seeks to address these deeper causes by working with the spiritual and energetic aspects of the individual.

For the victim, this may involve releasing energetic attachments, restoring lost personal power, strengthening healthy boundaries, and reconnecting with their authentic self.

For the perpetrator, meaningful healing is only possible where there is genuine accountability and a sincere desire to change, allowing old wounds and destructive patterns to be transformed.

While every person’s journey is unique, shamanic healing offers a compassionate path towards greater awareness, balance and wholeness, helping to break cycles of suffering so that healthier relationships can emerge.

About Rose

Rose is a Shamanic Practitioner offering in-person and distance Shamanic Healing Sessions and Shamanic Life Coaching, specialising in narcissistic abuse.

Rose works without hallucinogenic or psychedelic plant medicines. Instead, she uses an ancient drumming method to access this altered state of consciousness. A session may include a tailored combination of Power Animal Retrieval, Divination, Soul Retrieval, Energy Body Healing, Psychopomp, and Extraction to remove negative energy and blockages.

Each session with me includes Shamanic Subconscious Repatterning. A powerful system that changes the subconscious programmes that drive unwanted behaviour. This method heals trauma at its source, removes the self-limiting programme, and then rewrites a new way of being.

Shamanic Healing can be accessed face-to-face in the Rose Healing Room, Petersfield, East Hampshire or remotely through Distance Healing Sessions. Because the work is carried out in the Spirit Realm with the support of Rose’s Spirit Guides, the client does not need to be physically present in the same room. Distance sessions are narrated in real time, and clients receive an audio recording by email afterwards.

For further information about Shamanic Healing, go to: https://www.roseautumn.com/shamanic-healing/